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Happy New Years! Our Resolutions Are Surprisingly Boring...

Updated: Feb 11, 2022

A photo of a phone taking a photo of pizza and beer.
Pizza and beer, a picture perfect combo.

What’s up Pizza Lovers,

Welcome back and Happy New Year! We’re still working off our New Years hangovers over here at Dang Brother, but we can't wait to see all of your pizza loving faces this year!

As some of you may know, a very kind hacker thought he’d take over our Instagram account! After a few weeks of trying to get the account back, we decided to start fresh. After kick starting our new page, we got our original beautiful page back. We’re excited to share with you all once again what’s going on at Dang Brother! You can find us BACK at our original tag @dangbrotherpizza

Now that we’ve covered that, let’s talk resolutions. I know, I know, you always hear the same, “I want to be healthier, I want to lose weight, I want to save money.” Not here at Dang Brother! We decided to ask some of our team members what they are determined to change this year, and I think you’ll be able to relate to many and get a kick out of most.

1. “Buy All Leftover Calendars of 2021 and Burn Them.”

I think we can all agree that 2021 was one hell of a year that we’re glad is over. After a lot of thought, the idea of burning any 2021 calendar is so therapeutic that it must be done. Let’s forget about all of those testing appointments, weeks of quarantine, and missed family events, and welcome 2022 with open arms.

2. “Go Vegan and Inevitably Give Up.”

Now, of course, we all want to go vegan. We love animals and in a perfect world would love to see them live their lives eternally… but the thought of never being able to eat a sexy pep is actually painful. So, let’s go vegan for as long as possible until the next time the opportunity to buy a sexy pep presents itself.

3. “Turn all of my High Heel Shoes into Flats.”

As much as we all love heels and how cute they make us look (or how they make us short gals an actual normal height), I think we can all agree we’re completely over it. I mean the blisters, the inability to walk for a whole three days after, and for some… being taller than our man is a time of the past. It’s time to snap those heels and walk comfortably all of 2022.

4. “Be OK with Having to Make More than One Trip from the Car to Bring in Groceries."

Let’s face it guys, the human arm can only hold so much. Especially with those darn plastic bags that turn into knives of death piercing into our arms. We just need to accept the fact that we’re just going to have to take that extra trip. If we don’t, I think our pinky fingers are ACTUALLY going to fall off after one of these trips.

5. “Actually Put on a Real Outfit for a Zoom Call.”

We’ve all been there. It’s so easy to stay in our sweats and just sit up in our beds for zoom calls. After all, you only see our top half anyway right! Well no, not this year. This year we’re putting on those work pants, getting out of that bed, and doing that zoom call the productive way from our kitchen counters!


Whether it’s because you’re scared of COVID19, broke, or just too lazy, booking a vacation has become almost a chore. This is the year we break that barrier, whatever it may be, and book that vacation to the Bahamas! That trip where you need to present a negative COVID19 test, wear a mask everywhere you go in the blazing sun, and wait in line outside in the unbearable Bahamian heat to come back home… BOOK IT!

7. “Read the Books I bring to the Beach.”

Always having a book in our beach bag is a staple right? We’re going to go to the beach to read all about whether or not Will is able to convince Rachele that she’s the woman he’s been waiting for his whole life… but we always end up looking like a washed-up whale on the shore passed out with drool dripping off our chins into the sand. Only to be woken up by the tide rolling in… eventually destroying that book you “intended” on reading.

8. “Stay in the Bathroom while Brushing my Teeth.”

I think we can all admit that brushing our teeth is for people with patience. We put that toothpaste onto our toothbrush, stick it in our mouths and start walking around the house doing tasks we were too lazy to do before brushing our teeth. After minutes of multitasking, the mouth full of foam becomes too much and we rush to the bathroom to spit it out. Let’s stop doing that. Let’s stay in the bathroom, get into deep thought while vigorously brushing our teeth and try to make the time pass faster.

9. “Wake Up Before Noon.”

Usually, this is only a problem on the weekend, but in these COVID times with class and work being majority online, waking up before noon is a task every day of the week. Let’s shoot for the stars and work towards an 11 am wake-up call first. From there we can work at 10 am… and yea. I kind of only see it going as far as 10 am.


This one is special because it is our CE(BR)O Kev’s New Year Resolution. In these trying times, pizza has been our go-to here at Dang Brother. Going to work to make pizza, going to work to talk about pizza, and, of course, going to eat pizza. You must be thinking “what is Pizza Fitness?” Well eating pizza is a task in itself, so we are focusing not only on making the pizza and socializing while doing it but also FITTIN DIS PIZZA IN MY MOUTH.

I hope you enjoyed hearing about what the Dang Brother staff intends on changing in 2022. Fill out this survey and let us know which resolution you relate to the most to get a free coupon! We can’t wait for y'all to see what we're bringing to the table as this is our 10th year in business! We’ve got a lot coming and we can't wait to share it with y’all.

Good Vibes Only,


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